C.O. Brown – Titles Aint Shit If the Story Don’t Match

C.O. Brown – Titles Aint Shit If the Story Don’t Match

 

 

9/11/2017 I took an oath to become a Correctional Officer and I was thrilled! A childhood dream of mine finally coming to fruition… little did I know I would come to regret this decision a very short time later.

Growing up I loved a few things, at different times; writing, basketball, fashion, law and law enforcement… At one point I thought I’d be a journalist and then a lawyer, a police officer and then a correctional Officer. I figured that’s it! I could work in law enforcement but not “walk the beat” get my foot in the door as a C.O. , become a cop and then eventually a detective. I had it all planned out.

In my early 20’s I tested for the police officer exam in NYC, passed, and was called in to start the process however I was placed under investigation for the way I answered one of the questions. I was devastated because, an officer told me, the investigation process would take years. Since I lived in PA, I decided a few short years later to test for the C.O. position in my county and see how that would go. Tested, passed, went for the interview and they selected Caucasian applicants, ONLY. Again, I was crushed. I decided at that point, maybe this field isn’t for me and pursued other avenues.

I worked in banking, property preservation, claims etc and then became pregnant with my daughter. I had a rough pregnancy (which I will touch on at a different time) and had to go out on leave sooner than expected. My FMLA ran out before it was time to return to work, so my position could no longer be held. The company told me I could reapply with them, but I decided against it since I remained close to some of my co-workers/managers and was told the work environment was no longer the same. I decided this would be a great time to revisit my dreams of working in law enforcement. Applied for the correctional officer position in a county about a hr. from where I lived. I was invited in to be tested, mind you I was about 3-4 months postpartum and completely out of shape, but figured what God has for me is for me. Boom! I passed! Was interviewed the same day and received my offer in the mail a few weeks later – it’s for me!!!… Or so I thought!

From the moment I started I experienced obstacle after obstacle. One of the first incidences was complaints about my hair. I had multiple complaints about the styles I wore stating they were inappropriate etc, mind you, I kept my hair in twist and pulled away from my face, but it was never enough. It’s “too big” they said. I mean, my hair is thick, there’s not much I can do to alter that unless I straighten it, which I wasn’t doing. They went as far as to make me and the other females in my graduating class put a helmet on our heads to ensure our hair could fit. We were all black. If it didn’t fit, we were not to be allowed to graduate. They hadn’t done this to any other females, ever. I was pissed, but I buried my emotions and stayed optimistic because, this was for me… at least that’s what I thought at the time.

I graduated from the academy and my very first day I was told by a senior officer that I needed to be a “bitch” to the inmates and being nice to them wasn’t “the way”. I’m not a bitch, I mean I can be if pushed lol, but overall that’s not my persona. I am a “you get what you give” with regards to my demeanor towards you, so if they weren’t being bitches to me, I didn’t feel the need to be that way towards them. Inmates are people too. Some commit heinous crimes and others petty crimes, but regardless, I wasn’t there to judge them or treat them like shit because I could. I have a brother that’s incarcerated and I would hate for some one to treat him that way just for the hell of it.

The way the inmates were treated, the interactions I had with fellow officers and other chains of command, the time I was spending at the facility, which took away from the time I would be with my family, began to make me despise my new career. I was no longer optimistic and started to become someone I wasn’t – bitter and depressed. I knew no amount of money could replace my happiness and the longer I stayed the more miserable I would become. March of 2018, my tenure there ended and though I was sad that my dreams of retiring from Law Enforcement were over, I was ecstatic that I stayed true to who I am and recognized that the title wasn’t shit if I wasn’t happy.

I took a few months to just decompress and enjoy my family. Celebrate my daughters 1st birthday and steps, give my husband some much deserved quality time, go out with my girls, start my blog etc. I just returned to the job force as a federal employee and I am embracing this new beginning. I’m definitely in a better space mentally and learned such a valuable lesson in this experience. God makes no mistakes. He allows you to go through experiences, and in my case attain one of my dreams and recognize it wasn’t for me, grow from them and be strong enough to move forward. I know now that in anything I do, happiness must be at the root of it all.

xoxo

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    Relevancy will boost your ranking only if the site you are commenting on has keywords you want to rank for in the url or title. Find blogs or forums that meet this criteria and I guarantee you that you will increase in search rankings, no matter if all links are “no-follow”.

  225. Hi, Assalamu’alaikum, greeting from Indonesia. The great part about blog commenting is that it help us get to know each other, and support each other too.
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  260. Apple now has Rhapsody as an app, which is a great start, but it is currently hampered by the inability to store locally on your iPod, and has a dismal 64kbps bit rate. If this changes, then it will somewhat negate this advantage for the Zune, but the 10 songs per month will still be a big plus in Zune Pass’ favor.

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  263. If you’re still on the fence: grab your favorite earphones, head down to a Best Buy and ask to plug them into a Zune then an iPod and see which one sounds better to you, and which interface makes you smile more. Then you’ll know which is right for you.

  264. Zune and iPod: Most people compare the Zune to the Touch, but after seeing how slim and surprisingly small and light it is, I consider it to be a rather unique hybrid that combines qualities of both the Touch and the Nano. It’s very colorful and lovely OLED screen is slightly smaller than the touch screen, but the player itself feels quite a bit smaller and lighter. It weighs about 2/3 as much, and is noticeably smaller in width and height, while being just a hair thicker.

  265. Sorry for the huge review, but I’m really loving the new Zune, and hope this, as well as the excellent reviews some other people have written, will help you decide if it’s the right choice for you.

  266. Zune and iPod: Most people compare the Zune to the Touch, but after seeing how slim and surprisingly small and light it is, I consider it to be a rather unique hybrid that combines qualities of both the Touch and the Nano. It’s very colorful and lovely OLED screen is slightly smaller than the touch screen, but the player itself feels quite a bit smaller and lighter. It weighs about 2/3 as much, and is noticeably smaller in width and height, while being just a hair thicker.

  267. Zune and iPod: Most people compare the Zune to the Touch, but after seeing how slim and surprisingly small and light it is, I consider it to be a rather unique hybrid that combines qualities of both the Touch and the Nano. It’s very colorful and lovely OLED screen is slightly smaller than the touch screen, but the player itself feels quite a bit smaller and lighter. It weighs about 2/3 as much, and is noticeably smaller in width and height, while being just a hair thicker.

  268. The new Zune browser is surprisingly good, but not as good as the iPod’s. It works well, but isn’t as fast as Safari, and has a clunkier interface. If you occasionally plan on using the web browser that’s not an issue, but if you’re planning to browse the web alot from your PMP then the iPod’s larger screen and better browser may be important.

  269. Hands down, Apple’s app store wins by a mile. It’s a huge selection of all sorts of apps vs a rather sad selection of a handful for Zune. Microsoft has plans, especially in the realm of games, but I’m not sure I’d want to bet on the future if this aspect is important to you. The iPod is a much better choice in that case.

  270. If you’re still on the fence: grab your favorite earphones, head down to a Best Buy and ask to plug them into a Zune then an iPod and see which one sounds better to you, and which interface makes you smile more. Then you’ll know which is right for you.

  271. Whats up are using WordPress for your blog platform?
    I’m new to the blog world but I’m trying to get started and set up my own.
    Do you require any html coding knowledge to make your own blog?

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  272. Between me and my husband we’ve owned more MP3 players over the years than I can count, including Sansas, iRivers, iPods (classic & touch), the Ibiza Rhapsody, etc. But, the last few years I’ve settled down to one line of players. Why? Because I was happy to discover how well-designed and fun to use the underappreciated (and widely mocked) Zunes are.

  273. Zune and iPod: Most people compare the Zune to the Touch, but after seeing how slim and surprisingly small and light it is, I consider it to be a rather unique hybrid that combines qualities of both the Touch and the Nano. It’s very colorful and lovely OLED screen is slightly smaller than the touch screen, but the player itself feels quite a bit smaller and lighter. It weighs about 2/3 as much, and is noticeably smaller in width and height, while being just a hair thicker.

  274. I’ll gear this review to 2 types of people: current Zune owners who are considering an upgrade, and people trying to decide between a Zune and an iPod. (There are other players worth considering out there, like the Sony Walkman X, but I hope this gives you enough info to make an informed decision of the Zune vs players other than the iPod line as well.)

  275. Apple now has Rhapsody as an app, which is a great start, but it is currently hampered by the inability to store locally on your iPod, and has a dismal 64kbps bit rate. If this changes, then it will somewhat negate this advantage for the Zune, but the 10 songs per month will still be a big plus in Zune Pass’ favor.

  276. This is getting a bit more subjective, but I much prefer the Zune Marketplace. The interface is colorful, has more flair, and some cool features like ‘Mixview’ that let you quickly see related albums, songs, or other users related to what you’re listening to. Clicking on one of those will center on that item, and another set of “neighbors” will come into view, allowing you to navigate around exploring by similar artists, songs, or users. Speaking of users, the Zune “Social” is also great fun, letting you find others with shared tastes and becoming friends with them. You then can listen to a playlist created based on an amalgamation of what all your friends are listening to, which is also enjoyable. Those concerned with privacy will be relieved to know you can prevent the public from seeing your personal listening habits if you so choose.

  277. Sorry for the huge review, but I’m really loving the new Zune, and hope this, as well as the excellent reviews some other people have written, will help you decide if it’s the right choice for you.

  278. Hands down, Apple’s app store wins by a mile. It’s a huge selection of all sorts of apps vs a rather sad selection of a handful for Zune. Microsoft has plans, especially in the realm of games, but I’m not sure I’d want to bet on the future if this aspect is important to you. The iPod is a much better choice in that case.

  279. I’ll gear this review to 2 types of people: current Zune owners who are considering an upgrade, and people trying to decide between a Zune and an iPod. (There are other players worth considering out there, like the Sony Walkman X, but I hope this gives you enough info to make an informed decision of the Zune vs players other than the iPod line as well.)

  280. This is getting a bit more subjective, but I much prefer the Zune Marketplace. The interface is colorful, has more flair, and some cool features like ‘Mixview’ that let you quickly see related albums, songs, or other users related to what you’re listening to. Clicking on one of those will center on that item, and another set of “neighbors” will come into view, allowing you to navigate around exploring by similar artists, songs, or users. Speaking of users, the Zune “Social” is also great fun, letting you find others with shared tastes and becoming friends with them. You then can listen to a playlist created based on an amalgamation of what all your friends are listening to, which is also enjoyable. Those concerned with privacy will be relieved to know you can prevent the public from seeing your personal listening habits if you so choose.

  281. Zune and iPod: Most people compare the Zune to the Touch, but after seeing how slim and surprisingly small and light it is, I consider it to be a rather unique hybrid that combines qualities of both the Touch and the Nano. It’s very colorful and lovely OLED screen is slightly smaller than the touch screen, but the player itself feels quite a bit smaller and lighter. It weighs about 2/3 as much, and is noticeably smaller in width and height, while being just a hair thicker.

  282. I’ll gear this review to 2 types of people: current Zune owners who are considering an upgrade, and people trying to decide between a Zune and an iPod. (There are other players worth considering out there, like the Sony Walkman X, but I hope this gives you enough info to make an informed decision of the Zune vs players other than the iPod line as well.)

  283. I am really impressed with your writing skills and also with the layout on your blog. Is this a paid theme or did you modify it yourself? Either way keep up the nice quality writing, it is rare to see a nice blog like this one nowadays..

  284. Sorry for the huge review, but I’m really loving the new Zune, and hope this, as well as the excellent reviews some other people have written, will help you decide if it’s the right choice for you.

  285. great submit, very informative. I’m wondering why the
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  286. I’ll gear this review to 2 types of people: current Zune owners who are considering an upgrade, and people trying to decide between a Zune and an iPod. (There are other players worth considering out there, like the Sony Walkman X, but I hope this gives you enough info to make an informed decision of the Zune vs players other than the iPod line as well.)

  287. Hands down, Apple’s app store wins by a mile. It’s a huge selection of all sorts of apps vs a rather sad selection of a handful for Zune. Microsoft has plans, especially in the realm of games, but I’m not sure I’d want to bet on the future if this aspect is important to you. The iPod is a much better choice in that case.

  288. The Zune concentrates on being a Portable Media Player. Not a web browser. Not a game machine. Maybe in the future it’ll do even better in those areas, but for now it’s a fantastic way to organize and listen to your music and videos, and is without peer in that regard. The iPod’s strengths are its web browsing and apps. If those sound more compelling, perhaps it is your best choice.

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  290. Apple now has Rhapsody as an app, which is a great start, but it is currently hampered by the inability to store locally on your iPod, and has a dismal 64kbps bit rate. If this changes, then it will somewhat negate this advantage for the Zune, but the 10 songs per month will still be a big plus in Zune Pass’ favor.

  291. The Zune concentrates on being a Portable Media Player. Not a web browser. Not a game machine. Maybe in the future it’ll do even better in those areas, but for now it’s a fantastic way to organize and listen to your music and videos, and is without peer in that regard. The iPod’s strengths are its web browsing and apps. If those sound more compelling, perhaps it is your best choice.

  292. Apple now has Rhapsody as an app, which is a great start, but it is currently hampered by the inability to store locally on your iPod, and has a dismal 64kbps bit rate. If this changes, then it will somewhat negate this advantage for the Zune, but the 10 songs per month will still be a big plus in Zune Pass’ favor.

  293. Apple now has Rhapsody as an app, which is a great start, but it is currently hampered by the inability to store locally on your iPod, and has a dismal 64kbps bit rate. If this changes, then it will somewhat negate this advantage for the Zune, but the 10 songs per month will still be a big plus in Zune Pass’ favor.

  294. The new Zune browser is surprisingly good, but not as good as the iPod’s. It works well, but isn’t as fast as Safari, and has a clunkier interface. If you occasionally plan on using the web browser that’s not an issue, but if you’re planning to browse the web alot from your PMP then the iPod’s larger screen and better browser may be important.

  295. The new Zune browser is surprisingly good, but not as good as the iPod’s. It works well, but isn’t as fast as Safari, and has a clunkier interface. If you occasionally plan on using the web browser that’s not an issue, but if you’re planning to browse the web alot from your PMP then the iPod’s larger screen and better browser may be important.

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